Please Don't Tell
by Soo-yeonSweetheart
Summary: Genderswitch! I had never wanted this never to be a boy. Nobody respects a boy they told me if I had been born a boy I could be like them they said. That night I cut my hair short and ripped all my dresses to pieces they loved me as L a boy never L a girl
1. Chapter 1

Five o` clock. Perfect. I woke with no more than three hours sleep. But it was enough. I never slept more than that; often it was less. It was no surprise where the dark circles came from. I ran a hand through my short black hair, no messier than usual. I grabbed the binder wrapping it around my chest until it was flat. Putting on my white shirt and oversized pants was comfort, like a blanket to a baby.

I was L the world's greatest detective. No one had ever come close to finding out my greatest secret. L was female.

Only Watari knew this, no one else. It was fairly easy to keep my secret and pass off as male, as long as I kept my breasts bound and my hair short nobody could have ever guessed that I could be female.

I had never wanted to be a boy, but torment from all the others at Wammy's House had pushed me to it.

*Flashback*  
>(L Lawliet six years old, Wammy's House)<p>

I stacked the last sugar cube smiling at my work. Fifty high. All stacked precisely. Before I could blink Higurashi came running straight for my tower. It came crashing down, and I feel backward from the force. I began to cry, he pulled me up by my long hair laughing.

"Forget it! You can't be smart like us! Nobody respects you unless you're a boy! If you were born a boy you could be like us!" He yelled and threw me down leaving me to cry.

*End Flashback*

That night I cut my hair short and ripped all my dresses to pieces, they began to leave me be after that they loved me as L a boy, never L a girl.


	2. Chapter 2

Blessed be my soul that Kira shalt not kill. I beg that no harm may come to me as I have forgotten my disclaimer I do not own _Death Note_ and pray that Kira shall allow me life.

Watari locked the handcuffs between me and Light. He told us this way we could work on catching Kira twenty four seven I had to admit it was a good plan overall, he could never sneak off and kill if he was Kira, but the one major flaw was there, how easily he could discover my secret, but I couldn't back out he would know something was wrong, and I never gave up to give up was just like losing. I hated losing.

I decided all I could do was be extremely careful, I wouldn't give up. We went back to where everyone else was I sat down and began working.

Kira hadn't stopped killing weeks had gone by with Light incarcerated and we hadn't gotten any further I had begun to get frustrated and depressed, although it didn't show outwardly. I sat in the computer chair Light next to me for hours as we both worked every few minutes popping a sugar cube in my mouth, a doughnut, or a piece of cake. Eventually everybody left and Lights head was on the computer beside me his breathing slow and even.

I couldn't help but notice how sweet he looked sleeping there tired after a long day of shock and work. But I would never admit it to myself or anyone what I had thought at that moment. Light was Kira I knew that much whether he did it subconsciously or not was the question. I knew he couldn't do all those things without knowing it, he talked like Kira, thought like him, he was even strategic the way Kira would be, there hadn't been any question from the start. Light was Kira and we were mortal enemies.

I took my binder off taking a deep breath I felt better and more comfortable as I curled myself up into a chair but I couldn't help being agitated if Light happened to wake up in the middle of the night or somehow before me my secret would be out there was no way I could explain the unlocked handcuffs without looking like an idiot, no way I could explain my binder with good reason. No matter how good of a liar I had become.

I fell asleep in a tight ball hugging my legs. Nightmares plagued me I saw my death, my life, my fears I felt like I was falling I could hear bells they kept ringing loud into my ears, and then I woke up.

I was cold all over I felt like I had been dropped into a bath of ice. I looked around Light was sleeping soundly I stood up slowly turning my head toward the clock it was two am I had slept about two hours and I probably had 4 more before Light would even begin to wake up.

I got up to get some cake not bothering to put my binder back on it was unearthly how much I hated it. But I had to wear it I would not lose all the respect I finally have. I curled back up in the chair with cake and sugar it would be a long wait.

Hey guys! So L will be just slightly ooc in this because of the fact she is a girl but I am trying to make the character as close as possible I am watching and reading death note on a daily basis to help with it so sorry for that but im trying my best to make it as close to the L we all love as possible . Review!:D


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